“Why did you do that?”
I usually claim to know the answer to that question, immediately after whatever it is I’ve done. Then later, hindsight usually says, “Silly child. It wasn’t for that reason at all, but for this other reason.” So I am usually wrong. I think there is just one answer I am always right about.
“Because I wasn’t supposed to.”
Since childhood, I’ve found reasons like you are not supposed to climb on the roof compelling. Since childhood, I have climbed on many a roof. What has changed between childhood and now is who decides what I am supposed to be doing. It was the parents, or the schoolteachers, but now it is me.
Breaking someone else’s rules is a little like spending someone else’s money. The rewards are great, and if you pick the right someone else, the costs (to you) are negligible.
Breaking my own rules still brings a thrill, but the cost is steeper. It’s a heaviness, a sense of self-loathing, like a hangover that lasts all day.
I would like to hire a terrible manager. I would do the opposite of everything he or she required, because he or she, being terrible, would require me to do all the wrong things. I would be righteous and whole.
Qualified applicants can send their cover letters to email@example.com. Thank you.